Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Diagnosis

Something we have been aching for for at least one of our children.  Knowing they have illnesses and complications which are unable to be explained or understood is so frustrating.  

Today we finally received a diagnosis. 

Domenik is autistic.  

We expected it, I thought I was prepared, but I feel upset...  Upset that all the things we have been seeing can't be explained away.  Upset that we were right.  How odd is that?

He has been classed with a grade 2 disability (I think that is worded correctly) so will need a lot of support and therapy to help him progress through school and in life.  It also means automatic acceptance to the NDIS funding, just need to work out the paperwork etc...

I'm not sure what else really to say.  

He met every single criteria.. even in the section where he only needed to meet 2,  he met them all...  

Apparently we are to be congratulated for coping, managing so well and taking the steps to seek diagnosis...  

If we are to be congratulated, why don't I feel empowered or even the slightest bit validated?  

I'm hoping a good cry in private will help ease this feeling and we can start to feel positive and know we can at least move forward with getting assistance for one of our brood...  

We FINALLY have answers, we know for once we are not along, and that there is help and support out there....  

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Aching

My heart is aching...

No matter how hard we try to make life easier and to get back on an even keel something happens.

We've been fighting so hard tog et help for Miss K.  Ever since she was in grade 1 we have had an inkling something was a little amiss, but we didn't think things would get to this point.

Yesterday we finally had a paediatrician appointment followed by her therapy session at CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services)  new information has come to light.  I can't be certain it is all accurate, but we can't take the risk anymore.

Apparently Miss K is has been hearing voices.  She has been cutting, in fact her whole arms are covered in cuts.  We don't think she is cutting to really do much other than get attention - but that in itself is concerning.  She has accessed medications, knives and scissors at school and threatened other children's lives and welfare on top of her own.  

At the very least she has been diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)  and depression and suspected psychosis and related mental health illness.  

We are reeling...

We knew things were bad.  We have been pushing so long to get help.  We have hit roadblocks all the way through being told that it's nothing, or it's just her... now this....  Its a relief to know that we are FINALLY being listened to and getting help.  Just, this?!?!  Our hearts are breaking that she has been unwell and unable to tap into help for so long...  

So we are now waiting to see a psychiatrist for her.  Until that happens we have made the choice she is to remain home as we can not be certain she is safe any longer at school (or other students for that matter)  Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.  

I'm exhausted....  

Trying to hold everything and everyone together...

It's not easy, but what else can we do?  

**breathe**

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

A Nervous Eve....

I've been working hard to ignore it, but it keeps coming up and tapping me on the shoulder.  It leaves me shaking in my boots but hopeful at the same time.

Tomorrow is Toby's hearing assessment.  I'm trying not to worry, but when your doctor runs several rudimentary tests to see if your baby is hearing and he doesn't respond it quite frankly doesn't look good.  His ears appear healthy and have no sign of fluid behind the ear drum, but our little man still isn't talking or babbling in the fashion an atypical child does.  Heck, he's not even babbling like any of his siblings were at this age!  


Toby, aged 17 months
August 29, 2014
Our beautiful little man has had us fooled.  He communicated without words.  He has the most expressive fact and chocolate brown eyes you could just drown in.  He hasn't needed words to date, and we probably wouldn't have thought anything was amiss for a while yet if someone hadn't mentioned how well their little one at the same age talks and it dawned on me that we still haven't had a "mumma" or a "dada" or even a "bubba" from Mr T.  


I know having a child who has a hearing impairment is very manageable in todays world. In fact I have a niece and 2 nephews with hearing impairments and they are very well adjusted teenagers and young adults now.  BUT and this is what worries me the most...  but, they developed speech.  Toby hasn't.  Their hearing loss wasn't picked up until they were quite a bit older.  I'm worried that the prediction from the Dr of a profound deafness might be true.

We have driven ourselves (well myself) batty watching Tobes for any signs he is responding to sound.  I think my hands are all clapped out and my fingers fatigued from snapping.  I search his eyes for any awareness that may flicker in their depths, or for a twitch on his face which may indicate he heard something... anything....  

today he turned around when I called his name.  I'm hoping beyond hope he heard me.  A silly part of my subconscious says i should cancel tomorrows test because he heard me, but the sensible part of me quickly slaps that lunatic down...  

So this time tomorrow we will know if our little man can hear us, how much and we will have a better idea on what the future holds for us.

I'm a mix of emotions.  

I don't want to admit there is something wrong...

But deep down, my gut is telling me we are on the eve of some huge changes for our family.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Needing to Hold On...

With so much upheaval in the household at the moment I'm needing something to hold onto again.  So much is changing, lots of challenges ahead and TBH I don't think we have been this unsettled for such a long long time... So here I am, starting on the 365 challenge again.  It will at least give me something positive to look for in what could be some very hard days ahead...

So today, September 1st, I started again.  I might upload in weekly lots so as not to bog my blog down with daily images...  

So I should probably admit I actually picked up my camera on Saturday just gone for the first time in many months - and it felt GOOD!!!  We went to the beach at Port MacDonnell with the kid lets (it was Toby and Trixies first visit to the beach) and tried to remember what it was like to relax and forget our worries... it worked :)  



This photo is of our puppy Trixie-Belle... she loved the water and being free on the sand, but most of all she loved to DIG!!!!  


Menu Plan Monday

Week: Sept 3 - 10, 2014
  •  Thursday: Shepherds Pie
  •  Friday: Homemade Pizza
  •  Saturday: 
  •  Sunday:
    • Lunch - Pancakes
    • Dinner - Corned Beef
  •  Monday:  Sausage, Veg and Gravy
  •  Tuesday: Slow Cooked Beef Casserole and Toasties
  •  Wednesday: Porcupine Meatballs and Mashed Potato


    Snacks/Recess: Condensed Milk Cookies and Choc Chip Muffins

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Menu Plan Monday

yes, I know, it's really Tuesday today, not Monday... late again **sigh**



Week: August 28-Sept 3, 2014
  •  Thursday:  Praties (AKA Jacket Potatoes with homemade Garlic Butter, Coleslaw and cheese)
  •  Friday: Homemade Pizza
  •  Saturday: 
  •  Sunday:
  •  Monday:  Slow Cooked Pork Chops with Mashed Potato
  •  Tuesday: Quirky "Fried" Rice
  •  Wednesday: "Take it as it comes"  (Warnambool appts)


    Snacks/Recess:  Butter Cookies and Whole Orange Muffins

Blah!

so much for keeping up here.  I keep thinking I need to post, I need to document this or just update why don't I but procrastination seems to be the thing at the moment.  I could make all number of excuses but that's what they would be - excuse.  5 minutes while the kids are napping should be enough, and would mean I don't need to do a bulk update...  I need to start being more accountable **slaps self**

So we have had a tumultuous time of things lately.  Nathan has had his nasal surgery just last week.  The surgeon was shocked that his nose was 100% occluded from the nostrils all the way through to the sinuses.  What should have been a 45-60 minute operation took just over 1.5 hours!!!  He has had a bit of trouble adjusting to the post surgery routine.  He needed to learn to use a gravity fed netti pot 4 times a day and he is in the middle of a painful healing period.  Hopefully he will be back to 100% soon - I can for certain say that I am glad his snoring, sniffing and apnoea moments have all but stopped!!!

Miss K is causing us a lot of stress at the moment.  Running away, lies, self harm, more suicide threats etc.  She was re-assessed by CAMHS and has been categorised priority 1 and assigned a social worker/therapist.  Through the school she has also been assigned a social worker and a behavioural specialist.  She has had a period of almost 8 weeks of non-attendance of classes without adequate explanation to anyone.  Her stories keep changing so trying to ascertain the truth is incredibly difficult - to the point we simply have given up and just take everything on face value and making judgment calls as things happen and are reported.  She has been referred to the CAMHS psychiatrist for assessment on wether we are dealing with an emerging mental illness as well as ASD.  Hopefully by the end of September we will have something more concrete to work with in relation to our eldest daughter.  It tears my heart apart to admit just how bad things have become, but not admitting or talking about this feels like we are hiding from the truth.  We need to be open and transparent for our own sakes to be able to deal with this whole journey we are on... 

Mr D has started private Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy and Physio.  OT and Speech both agree he is definitely well into the autism spectrum.  Physio confirm our fears that the public physic here have been causing more issues than assisting his feet issues.  It looks like he will need another series of casting to try and help correct his feet - joy :/  We are about to start filling out paperwork to hopefully get hims some NDIS funding to help pay for his therapies - at the moment we are "robbing Peter to pay Paul" as the saying goes in order to accommodate his sessions.  Dom has also been listed to have his autos assessment in week 10 of this term - that's only 4 weeks away!!!  We should be given a date and time very very soon in relation to this... scary and excited to finally be getting him the help he needs!

Mr A is still happily chugging along.  He has a lovely girlfriend who is very stabilising for him and is loving school and work.  He has been getting very regular hours for work and has even been given opportunities to step into a supervisory role - a BIG thing for him :)  He also has his L's and is begging to drive all the time :)  I'm being strict in not allowing him to drive with the little kids in the car just yet.  one day soon though, he just needs a few more hours under his belt ;)

Mr W is cruising along as well.. nothing major to report from memory...  I do have to follow up his ENT referral to make sure his snoring and apnoea episodes are for the same polyps Nathan just had removed... **mental note made**

Miss A is Miss A... nothing new really...  intermittent gastro issues, piecing up bugs every time we go into town and still no real growth to report.  She is her usual petite little self.  The paediatrician has looked through all her notes and requested some new tests be run for her.  She is determined we will get a diagnosis for our little princess.  No one deserves to go through life not knowing why they are ill.  She agrees too that it is not normal for a child to have blood in their stools, to vomit and poop mucous and to have seriously fluctuating blood sugars (just the other week she dropped to 1.3 bsl with 3.6 ketones and didn't come up properly until way past midnight!!!)  So more blood tests, ruing tests and monitoring - but hopefully with some more answers!!!

I guess this brings me to Mr T... Mr T who was meant to be our last baby, absolutely healthy and perfect in each and every way to show us what raising a "normal" child is like....  Well, Mr T has thrown us a HUGE curve ball....  We only just realised last week T is not speaking.  He is not babbling like a regular baby.  He has not said one word.  Mr T has had preliminary rudimental testing and it appears he may have a significant hearing loss... in fact we have been told to expect him to be declared profoundly deaf.  I can't express just how this makes us feel.  Being deaf isn't the worst thing that can happen, it's manageable.  I have a niece and 2 nephews with hearing loss (due to connexion 26) and they are gorgeous, well adjusted functioning individuals.  They are successful and you'd not know they had hearing loss if you didn't know.  I KNOW it's not a life threatening condition.  but this wait between picking up something isn't quite right to his full hearing assessment next Wednesday is starting to play with my head.  If he is profoundly deaf as expected it means we will have some significant changes to make at home.  We are already starting to introduce some AUSLAN signs into the family to try and see if we can get him communicating a little more that way.  So far he has done pretty well with grunts, crying, screaming, pulling and poking ;)  He is such an expressive little chap and he has his own way of communicating so we hadn't picked it up until now, when he is 17 months old! So I'm a whole turmoil of emotions trying to process this on top of everything else we are dealing with at the moment.  I only want the best for Toby.  We were hoping the Dr would simply say his ears are full of wax, but they are clear and the ear drum appears healthy, so it looks like it is a more structural issue rather than something easily fixed - damn! trying to not get the horse tooooo far in front of the cart but that's difficult too when we have older children asking questions and wanting to know details we just don't know yet - try telling as Aspie that we don't know everything *augh*!! 

so I guess that's it... fun and games, nothing new in some areas, other things coming up and really kicking the feet out from under us.... we have no real choice but to keep moving forward... Time will pass and we will eventually get answers... One step at a time...  and remember to *breathe*

PS:  I've not checked spelling and probably won't read back so they won't bother me...  :P  

PPS:  yes, I probably will actually read back and edit the errors in time, but for now...  deal with them!!  :P :P